Who’s in Charge Around Here??

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While all the craziness of our home life was going on with our involvement with Safe Families and the busyness of life, things were happening at Mark’s workplace.  He really loved his job, but he had already climbed within the department as high as he could.  The business culture today is so wrapped around a different philosophy than my parents’ generation.  Now, if you stay in one role for more than a few years, it can be looked upon as stagnation rather than perfecting your craft.  So, Mark posted for other positions in the company that would keep us in California, but nothing seemed to work out. He was told that if he gained some further outside experience in management, he could come back in to some different challenges down the road.

When we discussed it with the kids, again, they weren’t exactly delighted with the idea of leaving California, and they had a point: they’d heard us say God would provide friends in California and we had asked that they trust Him; they had, and now they each had some good friends.

But we really saw this move as a temporary one; we were so sure we would be back within 2-3 years – we were already sold on the area, we had had a wonderful life there, so we wouldn’t struggle at all with coming back, would we?

When we had lived in Wisconsin, we’d been part of a wonderful church plant of a Harvest Bible Chapel in the Milwaukee area, the parent church being in Elgin, Illinois. Mark and I used to drive down on Saturday nights to what was affectionately referred to as “Big church” – the main campus.  Captivated by all that God was doing there we’d dreamed of the chance to be part of it. But we had never pictured ourselves moving to Illinois –why would we ever do that when all we’d known was in the Badger state?

All the same, here we were, considering that very thing.

Before leaving our home in California to go on a weeklong visit to Wisconsin, I had called the school, Harvest Christian Academy, letting them know we were going to be in the area the next week and would there be a way our kids could see the school even though it was summertime?  The superintendent was very friendly and helpful, “Absolutely!”

So we took a day and drove down to the area that we were considering moving to.  We wanted our kids to see where they would go to school – and church, since they were the same building. 

Little did we know that while we were looking at them, they were looking at us – we had no idea that the school was working hard to grow – it all looked and sounded wonderful to us and the idea that our children would get to be part of this marvelous school was exciting to us, as we already held their ministry in such high esteem.  Meanwhile, God was encouraging their hearts that here was a family with 5 kids, eager to join in what they were doing.

We flew back to California, more open to the idea of another move.

Again, we talked extensively with our children; we all agreed that ‘coming back’ would be our top priority – this was just going to be like an extended vacation for a couple years, then we’d be right back to the state we had come to love.

Really, we felt we didn’t have a choice so we put our wonderful home on the market, and started the enormous task of moving across the country again.

Back in the Midwest, we moved to a hotel in a northwest suburb of Chicago; this temporary stay ended up lasting about four months, but this time around, we had two dogs plus a cat and the seven of us crammed into two rooms. 

Thankfully, our lodgings were at the very end of the hallway, directly across from each other. Mark and the boys and I took one room with a dog, and the three girls took the other dog and the cat in with them.  

We still chuckle at the memory of the sign that greeted us on the refrigerator when we first entered: “Welcome! We hope you find this fully furnished kitchen stocked with all the necessary tools to make your stay with us an enjoyable one!” 

Opening the cupboards and drawers revealed the contents of two plates, a bowl and a mishmash of silverware, along with a small pot with a lid, a jar opener, a corkscrew and a sieve. The girls’ room wasn’t much better, although they had an ice cream scoop and a stack of cups. Clearly, we had some gaps to fill; between the two rooms, we cobbled together a reasonably equipped kitchen and, with one or two trips to the Dollar Store, we made it functional. 

It didn’t take long for the enormity of our decision to sink in: We had left the home and area we loved, to come back to the Midwest to live in a hotel again, no more ultra bright sunshine, no more sandy beaches… only this time it was August, we were back to freezing cold weather and gray skies – and there was no going back! There were unforeseen challenges that really tried our faith; things had we known, we may have chosen very differently. It wasn’t easy starting all over again, and we started to doubt the soundness of our decision. Everyone was floundering, lonely and struggling.

“Um…Mission Control? We have a problem!”

Nearly horrified with the evidence that obviously we had not been thinking clearly the past several months to cause us to make such a rash and unutterably wrong and irreversible decision, we turned desperately to God – What had we done?? Lord, please fix this!

Then, the soothe, calming voice broke through to my frantic mind: 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29.

Has there been a time in your life when you found yourself far from where you ever intended to be? When things just didn’t look anything like your original plans? God wants to assure us that even then, He is in control. It may look different, it may be full of some trials or hard situations, but He wants to help us grow through those very difficulties, to make us more like his Son. Let’s talk…you know – between friends.

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Orphan Care

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While living in California, our family became involved in a ministry called Safe Families for Children. Much like foster care, but without compensation and with a more reasonable, lenient structure that operates through area churches to find host families willing to temporarily care for children in crisis, SFFC had its’ start in Chicago in 2002 and our church in California was just embarking on it.

After going through the background checks and training and approval process, our family got to host our very first placement – a sibling group of 4 sisters! It certainly was a challenge at first, going from 5 kids in the house to 9 overnight, but again, we truly saw God at work in amazing ways and were thrilled to be able to participate in such a fulfilling ministry.  It became a family ministry – we all needed to help welcome the kids into our home, be willing to give up some time, comfort, space and convenience – how better to show the love of Christ than to be hospitable to these kids in crisis? 

God has used Safe Families to stretch our faith even further, as well as a very visible way for our kids to learn that choices have consequences. Many people who use the ministry are just people who find themselves in a tough spot and needing some temporary help as they are completely without support as they face a crisis, loss of a job, loss of a spouse, temporary setbacks that no one could have predicted; others though, are there because of some poor choices they have made; needing to serve jail time, or go through drug counseling, and are without anyone to come alongside and help with their kids during a tough time. 

Better than lectures, better than threats, these real life examples of the fall-out that can happen when we make bad choices spoke volumes better than we could have to our kids. 

Better than lectures, better than judging, these real life people see Jesus at work in our lives when we reach out to help them in a practical way during their time of difficulty.

Yes, it was wearying, yes, it was chaotic at times; but did God teach us some valuable lessons through it? You better believe it.  Plus it started to build hearts of compassion in our children.

They began to realize that God might not ask us to do grandiose things, but we are all capable of doing the simple things of love and kindness that He asks of we who claim to follow Him. It is a ministry that is still close to our hearts today and that we have stayed involved in, still hosting here in Chicago (the tale of how that move transpired will be shared in an upcoming post).

Four years into it, with multiple placements, I wrote an Open Letter that I dedicated to each of the children we’ve had in our home. It is such a fruitful and fulfilling ministry, I want to share the glorious gift of involvement with everyone I can, in hopes that it might encourage others to take a step of faith in participating in this marvelous and practical way.

Dedicated to Each of the Precious Safe Family Children we have had the Privilege of Hosting:

Little did we know, oh little one, how mightily you would capture our hearts.  We thought, when we took you into our home, that we were helping you- but God, in His sovereign wisdom, knew that you were just what we needed as well.  Yes, those first few days were hard – we were trying to learn about you, your likes and dislikes, and you, cautiously were learning that we are here to help you, and over time, trust blossomed, and warmth and safety won.

I marvel that we get to watch you grow and discover the world around you, however briefly. Your delight at learning of a whole new world on the ground around our feet was priceless ~ you sat entranced watching the bugs crawl and the ants busily working on their projects, distracted by the wind bending the delicate stems of the nearby flowers, as birds sang their songs of joy into your listening ears.  Perhaps, have you never been exposed before to the marvelous melodies of nature?  Your peels of laughter as we whirled you through the air, around and around, made me wonder: have you ever laughed with such abandon before?

 Your smiles, slow at first, have been the loveliest thing to greet us each morning as you wake; and, as you began to trust that this place is full of love for you, you have softened.  A part of you has awakened under the gentle touch of caring hands that hold you when you fall, delighted smiles bestowed from your sweet gifts of colorful pictures scribbled with chubby crayons,  contentment as we read books, play games, sing songs and make our way through life, together, for a time. 

I don’t know if you will ever know that for this precious and fleeting bit of time, we shared our journey of life – will your young mind ever recall the laughter we have shared? The love that has grown in our hearts for you? Perhaps, some day, far from now, you might have a hazy memory of this time, a little fuzzy around the edges, but certain in the feeling that you were safe and cherished and loved.

I know that our family has been blessed by having you join our circle, even if it is only for a few weeks or months; you have reminded us of one of the best things God has put in the human soul: to have compassion on our fellow man, and the ripples of blessing that follow our acting on that compassion.

Soon, all too soon for us, you will be going back home, to a mom that loves you; not perfectly, but deeply. She has dreams for you, wants good things for you – she must, or she never would have sought the help of people like us who want to support her through a difficult time in her life, to come around and for a while, care for her most precious gift on Earth: her children. She is as precious to us as you are, for she is hurting and alone, in need of the unconditional love that only Jesus offers us; we pray for her healing, for her discovery of the thing she needs the most as she uses this time to build a home for you to come back to, a healthy place for your family to flourish and grow.But when you leave here, do not think that you have fully left us – the memory of you will live on; the stories of what you saw, where we took you, what you learned, how you made us laugh – those things will remain with us, carefully knit into the legacy of stories that will pass down for generations to come; and we will pray for you, just like one of our own. Because, for this little while, you are one of our own. And know, just as we pray now each night beside your little bed, we will continue to plead to God on your behalf after you have gone from here, to watch over you, to protect you and to bring you to Himself as only He can.

So, for today, let’s embrace the time before us and enjoy the simple pleasures that come our way. God holds the future and we can walk with sure steps forward as we take one day at a time trusting in His love and kindness; for now, you are here and life holds great promise; and that is all we need to know.

Matthew 25:40 “The King will reply, “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” ~ Jesus

There are so many wonderful ways to be the hands and feet of Jesus; but there are always more people needed to participate in this great ministry… if you are drawn to learn more about Safe Families for Children, please visit www.safe-families.org .

Are there ministries you are involved in that are helping others along life’s journey? I’d love to hear about it!

Let’s talk…you know – between friends.

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