Pray, Trust, Rest

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Decision-making can be hard. And waiting for clarity from God on what to do can be hard, too. Even when we are trusting God for His best, we may pray and ask God to make something clear to us, but still wrestle with leaving it wholly in His hands. Such was the case with our daughter.

She was moving along in a process of waiting, praying and asking for prayer for discernment and direction over something that would radically alter her world, and she didn’t want to ‘make a mistake.’  She thoroughly researched all the ramifications that would result from her decision, sought Godly counsel, and set aside daily time with God to seek His will. She was about as purposeful as one can be in desiring to present herself as a vessel for God’s use, but she still lacked the answer of specifically what she should do.

Long talks with friends and family helped her feel supported, but she was no closer to knowing whether to move forward, feeling trapped by an approaching conversation that would perhaps demand her response.  She did what any smart girl would do in that situation and called her mom. 

I say that quite jokingly, because to be honest, I was in no position to offer her any further clarity about what to do, but it did concern me greatly that she wasn’t sleeping well. “I wake a lot in the night, and am restless and can’t sleep,” she confided. “I pray all the time, telling God that I want to honor Him in my life and asking Him to give me direction and tell me what to do. I’m so tired. I haven’t slept straight through a night for weeks. I just need some advice, Mom.” 

I’d been praying as she’d talked, pleading for some nugget of wisdom to share with my precious girl who was so earnest in her desire to please God. Surely He would shower us with an avalanche of arrows, pointing exactly which path she should take, or at least a pillar of fire to light up the way? Nope. Nada. Nothing. Sigh.

“Well, honey,” I bravely began, all while praying madly for that nugget of brilliant insight, “it worries me that you’re not sleeping. Maybe you need to spray your pillow with Lavender essential oil and drink some herbal tea in the evening to help you get drowsy.” (Honestly, Sarah?? That’s the best you can give her?! Good grief. ‘Please Lord, help me.’)

“And you know, it occurs to me that you’re doing all the right things, praying, seeking counsel, researching the pros and cons studiously and laying this before God. But then you seem to be asking Him to guide you right now, when honestly, you don’t need to know the answer just yet.” 

I raised my eyebrows. Hey, that seemed to be some good counsel right there; God gave me a bit more. 

“In fact, you know, God often doesn’t give us all the information neatly up front, but in His own time. You don’t have to make this decision today. You have a good week or so before you’re presented with some more information – and who knows but that what you learn then could help make this decision for you. You may find you discover some things in the next weeks that will give you clear direction. God can arrange any myriad of things that will bring you what you need to know.” 

I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me to say a bit more of what He was putting on my heart to share. “So do you think that maybe you’re asking the right question, with the right motive, but wanting an answer before God’s ready to show you? He is pleased with your heart that desires to please Him. He knows that you need His guidance and that this is a big deal; so now we have to trust Him.

Leave your situation in His able hands and release yourself from demanding an immediate answer. And let yourself rest.”

I heard a sniffle from the other end of the phone. I took a deep breath.

“Sweetheart, I’m going to be praying for you to get a night of delicious sleep, for you to really sense a freedom from what you perceive as urgent, and an ability to leave this in God’s hands. In fact, I’m going to text my prayer team ladies and ask them to be praying, too.” 

After we disconnected I felt God telling me not to text my prayer warrior friends and pondered this. He brought to mind that a couple of days earlier I’d brought my own heart to Him as I’d struggled with questioning if God would respond to my prayers. I’d confessed doubt that my bringing petitions to Him was enough to move His heart. The Bible says that the “Prayers of the righteous avail much,” but lately I’d questioned if I fit into that category, since it had seemed that many of my prayers seemed to go unanswered, and I’d been discouraged earlier that week when I approached God about it. You know how it feels when sometimes there are ‘spiritual giants’ around you who seem to have it all together and rarely struggle with doubt? I’d been in contact with several of those lately and feeling that I lacked. 

I hung my head. “Okay, Lord; I won’t text the ladies. Please let our daughter sleep deeply tonight, and all the way through. And let the fact that it’s just me and her that are praying for this mini miracle build our trust more deeply in You.” 

I couldn’t wait till morning. Would she sleep? Would she let me know? She wasn’t aware of my own grappling heart about my own inadequacy as a Pray-er before our Heavenly Father; I hadn’t wanted to trouble her heart with my own struggle.  

Her text came at 9:43 my time, “Slept through the whole night for the first time in a month! Feel so so refreshed!” The raised hand emoji’s reflected my own elation!

I wept. I had asked God to make our faith deeper by answering this simple need, to have it affirmed that our prayers – hers and mine – were heard by our loving Father and availed much. 

Tears poured as my heart soared! 

I praised God in verse, in song, out loud and in prayer. I was jubilant to realize that God’s response was not only to show us that He cares, but also that we can trust Him fully, for Every. Last. Need. Talk about a faith builder! 

We all can fall into doubt. Hard circumstances, heartache, plenty of chaos and confusion surround us, and at times it can seem that God’s just not paying much attention. But the truth is that He knows, and His love and sovereignty are firmly in place. He just asks that we come to Him with all that is on our hearts, and then, for our simple trust.

Some of my favorite verses are, “You (Oh God) will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” And, “God makes all things work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” 

I ended up sharing with my daughter what I myself had grappled with. I wanted her to have the joy of seeing how God had worked in both our hearts through His kindness and grace. Her response was perfect, “I absolutely love that, Mom! And so appreciate you sharing that part with me.”

When we are willing to be vulnerable and share the honest truth that we all struggle, I believe God is glorified. He doesn’t ask us to have all the answers. He asks us to come running to the One who does, and throw ourselves on His perfect sufficiency and love, trusting Him to provide all we need, and worshipping Him with gratefulness and adoration as He supplies all our need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:19 Isn’t that a precious promise?! Indeed, it is.

I pray that you are blessed and encouraged today to cling ever closer to our loving Father, who loves us lavishly. ~ 

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Eyes of Faith

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Perspective is everything. For many months our ailing dog needed to go outside frequently, even through the night, acutely reminding us of all the times we’ve had a newborn in the house. The medication helped the accidents, but didn’t stop his nighttime pleas. Recently, Mark’s travel put the onus all on me to take Toby out at 11 p.m., 1 a.m. and again at 4 a.m. after which I couldn’t fall back asleep. I put the time to good use by transferring months of notes of my writings, ideas and poems from my phone to my email, finally falling asleep a little after 7, grateful there was no school that day.

Our youngest son came into my room at 10:37, “Mom, are you okay? Dad is frantic and sending you texts and phone calls – he asked me to come check on you.” Groggy with fatigue I sat up, trying to recollect the day and wondering what would make my usually calm husband “frantic”? He snapped up my phone call immediately. “Sarah, are you okay? I was in your email and saw some of what you wrote to the kids about after you die, and was worried sick that something was wrong with you, maybe hiding something you felt you couldn’t share with me.” His voice cracked, “I’ve been calling and texting repeatedly, but you weren’t answering.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. I’ve scolded that man for nosing around in my email plenty of times. Though we use that account for bills that he handles, most of what I forward to myself are my own thoughts, observations and ponderings. But I could see how he may have gotten a bit worried. One particular letter I’d sent started off, “My dear and precious children: I ask God to surround your life with people that speak and live out His truth, because long after I have ceased to be a resource for you, my hope is that I might still be an influence, having taught you principles that can guide you, truths that protect you, and wisdom that sustains you.” Another outright stated, “Random charges to my children after I pass away.” Since I hadn’t anticipated anyone else seeing them it hadn’t dawned on me to send them with an explanation.

Assuring him that I was fine, though exhausted, we hung up and I made some coffee for my quiet time. Still chuckling at my husband’s overwrought interpretation of my emails made me pause. What in my own life was I perhaps seeing from the wrong angle, or a warped outlook that mistakenly colored my interpretation? Apart from the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives, aren’t all of our perspectives skewed in some way as we look at life through the lens of our weak flesh, observing this sin cursed world and making assumptions that we shouldn’t? Several jumped to my mind almost immediately. I have to admit, there are times I grapple with what it appears God is – or isn’t – doing in my life and the lives of people that I love. Does He care? Why doesn’t He perform miracles and move mountains when He certainly can, and it seems like doing so would be such a marvelous faith builder to all who would see it? If I’m not careful, I can let my skewed perspective wrongly convince me that since things aren’t working according to what I think would be best, God must not care.

God forgive me for how quickly I can come to a dangerously erroneous conclusion about our loving, faithful, gracious and merciful God!! I was reminded of this poem I wrote this past summer when we were facing a gut wrenching heartache and God showered me with a sense of Peace that belied the gravity of pain that we felt from our situation; He asked us to switch out our perspective with His:

Eyes of Faith see things this hardened world can never know; Faith Eyes see not where we are, but where we’re going to go. Eyes of Faith don’t dwell on all the hurts that we find here; But focus on Jesus Christ, who loves and draws us near. Eyes of Faith keep coming Hope firmly in their view; Faith Eyes see not only Now, but future promise, too. Eyes of Faith choose to build a deeper trust in God; Faith eyes do not choose despair while walking this hard sod. Lord, let my Eyes of Faith grow stronger day by day; While eyes that see the sorrow here, slowly fade away. And then with great triumphant shout this world will pass from view; But Eyes of Faith will firmly fix their hope and trust in You. Rewarded then, our Eyes of Faith that trusted Your good plan Will see the purpose that You worked for Your glory, and for Man.

If God’s goal were simply to get us through this life as pain free as possible, then we would have a fair argument against what He allows. But that’s not God’s goal – that’s only ours. God’s goal, on the other hand, is to help us become more like His Son, Jesus, in a process called sanctification. And He has chosen to use the vehicles of trial and hardship as tools to hone us and sharpen us, teaching us to put our full weight on Him. It’s a process. It doesn’t come overnight. And it certainly won’t come by looking inwardly at our own feeble strength, but allowing our faith to put its full weight on Jesus, who has already proven his love.

So if you’re facing something difficult today, something that hurts, is wearying or causing you to doubt God’s love and intentions, take courage, my friend, and cling to the promise that God has purpose in all that He allows in our lives. For He IS working His plan. And The Who can be fully trusted, even when we can’t make sense of the Why.


The bends in the road on the journey of Life can twist and turn without warning.


Darkness falls and dreaded fear calls – but light always comes in the Morning.


Keep your eyes on The One who knows the path, far better than we ever could.


Hold fast to your trust that He loves you, and is working His plan for our Good. ❤

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